This month's newsletter is coming in just under the wire:  February 28.

My apologies.  I wore my Mom and Wife hats way more than my Business Woman hat this month.

Something about spending time WRITING about love makes you want to turn around and be sure you're SHOWING love.

SHOWING LOVE is what this month's posts were all about. 

The theme was Gary Chapman's The Five Love Languages.  The article series, "50 Ways to Love Your Lover," shared 10 ideas for expressing love in each of the primary love languages.

If you haven't done it yet, visit www.5lovelanguages.com and get a sense of what your and your partner's primary love language is.  Then discuss the many ways you can "speak" each other's love language.

Here are some ideas to get the ball rolling.

If "Words of Affirmation" is your partner's primary love language - if he beams with pride and swells with confidence when you tell him how awesome he is - then here are 10 ways to show him love in a way that he'll REALLY appreciate. 

(Hey, there are 10 months left in this year, right?  How about focusing on one each month?)

!0 Ways to Express Love With Words

1. Describe one way that he excites you - Observe your physical reaction when he comes into a room, or says your name, or touches your back.  Then, in a tender moment, put your physical reaction into words.  Let your heart pour out of your mouth.  One Valentine's Day, I wrote my husband a note saying, "I may not always show it, but when I hear your car pull up into the driveway, every hair on my arm knows you're home."  That man felt SO loved, he showed that note to everyone in his office.
2. Tell his family how awesome he is - Not just in a general way.  Be specific.  Tell them one thing he did or said that you especially liked.  Or describe the quality that you most respect about him.
3. Use the word, "Respect" - When he's telling a story about work, a hobby, or his friends, pay attention to what the story says about him as a person.   Does the story illustrate his great sense of humor?  His ability to see the good in people?  His undying loyalty?  His courage?  His honesty?  His steadfast determination?  After his story, tell him how much you respect that quality in him.  When I tell my husband, "I really respect how patient you can be with difficult people," or "I have the greatest respect for your work ethic," I can see...

Read more

If you discover that you or your partner has a primary love language of Physical Touch, here are...

10 WAYS to Love Your Lover through Touch

1. Rub his back – Since most of us can't touch our backs by ourselves, it's a very neglected body part.  The feel of a soft hand (not even massaging, just stroking), can be wonderfully comforting.
2. Place his hands where you like to be touched – I get a kick out of taking my husband’s hands and placing them on my face. I don’t know why, but I like the feel of his hands on my face. And I think he enjoys knowing that his touch is sacred to me.
3. Cuddle – Just being physically close is spiritually and emotionally rejuvenating. Lay your leg across his lap while reading a book. Put your head on his shoulder while watching TV. Stroke his arm while he’s driving (if he’s not easily distracted).
4. Play – Chase, tickle, piggy back ride. Remember the physical fun of being a kid? The thrill of...

A person whose primary love language is Quality Time really wants to be seen, heard, appreciated, and understood.  This person feels connected to people who deeply know her and enjoy her presence.

If your partner's primary love language is Quality Time, here are a few ideas to help him feel fully loved by and connected to you.

1. Ask him to retell a story from childhood – Even if you've heard all his stories before, listen deeply, as if you may write his biography one day. Ask, “What was that like for you? When do you feel like that now?  What makes that memory so important that you've treasured it above so many others?”
2. Laugh a lot – Don’t let life get so serious that you’re not having fun together regularly. Tell jokes, funny stories, silly dreams. The memory of you rolling with laughter is the one memory you want burnt into his mind.
3. Listen with your whole heart – When he's sharing something that's important to him (even if it's something hard for you to hear),  set aside your agenda and just be his friend. Be a safe space where he can share his thoughts and feelings without judgment.
4. Welcome him home – Stop whatever you’re doing, for just 30 seconds, and greet him when he comes home. I have a friend in NJ who has made this a practice for over 30 yrs of marriage. Once...

NEXT MONTH: CHILDREN

What do they need? 

How can parents set boundaries without crushing kids' spirits? 

How do we know when to push them and when to let them be? 

Stay tuned as we spend the month of March celebrating the deliciousness of H.E.A.R.T.-Based Parenting - that's parenting with Honesty, Empathy, Appreciation, Respect, and Trust.

ALSO...

Visit www.MyHealingBooks.com to join our Monthly Phone-Based Bookclub.  Share in our deep discussions of self-development books. 

AND AS ALWAYS...

Thanks so much for the feedback you've been sending.  It's great to know that you enjoy what we're doing at the Family Healing Institute.

If you haven't already, drop us a line to let us know what you think or what you'd like to see: Venus@HealMyFamily.com.

However, IN GENERAL (there are exceptions), it's our men/partners/husbands/boyfriends who could use a little schooling on "How to Show Love Through Acts of Service."

Too often, we women feel unloved and under-appreciated.  We feel taken for granted.  We feel alone.  And our men scratch their heads wondering, "Why are you complaining so much?"

So, gentlemen, this one's for you.

10 Ways to Love Through Service

1. Wash or Clean one thing - Her car, the kitchen floor, a chaotic closet.  So often, a woman juggling lots of roles - mother, daughter, wife, friend, employee, boss - just can't get to EVERYTHING.  The smallest assistance would help her feel so loved.  (Cleaning things always falls to the bottom of my To Do list.  In college, both my best girlfriend and my soon-to-be husband washed my car (at different times) just because.  It felt more loving than any physical gift.)
2. Massage or Backrub - Doesn't have to be professional quality.  Doesn't have to last more than 5 minutes.  Just the feel of your hands on her back would melt away...

If your partner TELLS you how much he loves you, chances are, HIS primary love language is "Words of Affirmation."  If he surprises you with gifts, it may mean that HIS love language is "Gifts."

If you suspect that your partner's primary love language is "Gifts," here are a few ideas.  Remember, gifts don't have to cost a thing.  They are simply a token to show that you're thinking of that person when he/she is not around.

10 Ways to Express Love with Gifts

1. Notes - Write little notes like, "I love you," or "You make me smile," or "Thanks for last night."  Write them in the snow, on a post-it near his shaving equipment, or in a kitchy little e-card.
2. Wrap ANYTHING - If you're out running errands, and you remember something that he needs, get it and wrap it, with a note saying, "Thinking of you."  We're talking anything - socks, soap, spaghetti.  Wrapping makes anything feel special.
3. Frame a memento - Still got those ticket stubs from...