Natural Consequences: About the Mom Who Kicked Her Daughters Out of the Car

My family coaching friend, Janette, just sent me this link to a Good Morning America story about the mom who kicked her two daughters out of the car:

http://cosmos.bcst.yahoo.com/up/player/popup/index.php?cl=13203672

Brace yourselves, because I’m about to voice what may be a very contrarian view.

I find this story hilarious!  I support the mom in her choice…although I wish she’d taught her kids a little more street smarts before she did it. (If your 10 year old doesn’t know better than to traipse off with strangers offering ice cream, then she’s not ready to be left on the street alone.)

I believe her probable neglect in teaching her kids street smarts is more egregious than kicking them out of the car.

Sure, it would be bad to leave 4 & 6 year olds alone on the street.  But these kids are 10 & 12!

And come on…she only drove around the block!  (Allegedly)  And how far away from home were they?  I used to walk a mile to school in 3rd grade - don’t these girls go ANYWHERE by themselves?  (Granted, my kids, at 12 & 14, don’t walk around by themselves yet, either…and I’m not proud that I’ve adopted the kidnapping fear of the era…but at least they know better than to go off for ice cream with strangers.)

After the age of 9, IMHO, being chauffered around by mom is a privilege, not a right.  You abuse the privilege, you lose it.  At least for a minute.

Besides, the mom’s a lawyer…perhaps she was so stressed out that day that making distance between herself and her kids was the safest option.  Maybe she cooled off a hot temper.

I’ve never done it, and my kids aren’t the kind who need it.  But if they were, I could totally see doing it.  Maybe I’d put my flashers on and drive beside them.  Or maybe I’d drive around the block to let them think about it…  Either way, I believe I’d be within my rights as a parent.

This is wrong of me, but I believe it’s possible the daughter orchestrated the whole “getting lost” guilt trip in the first place.  Seriously, how far could she go, walking normally, in the time it takes to drive around the block?  If she got “lost,” it’s possibly because she wanted to…to make her mom “feel sorry.”

I could be wrong…but this is the way I see it.

I’m sorry, I’m still laughing.  This story is hilarious to me for some reason.

I guess it’s all the craziness we’ve heard since the 80s, “Moms should never let kids out of their sight for one second!”  I’m sorry, I just don’t believe that.

I believe that our country loves to crucify people for the sake of self-righteousness.  We love to wag our fingers at others to make ourselves feel superior.  We love to find someone to blame.

I just don’t believe in that.

If you’ve read any of my other parenting posts, you know I don’t believe in punishment as a rule.  I think it breeds resentment, and creates distance in parent-child relationships.  I also think it teaches kids to “obey” based on fear, rather than instilling self-discipline.

HOWEVER, I do believe that losing the right to be driven home is a natural consequence for abusing that privilege.  Just like losing the keys to the car, years later, is a natural consequence for abusing driving privileges (like repeatedly not returning home before curfew).

What do you think?
Is it “criminal” for a mom to leave her kids by the side of the road, for just a few minutes, to let them ponder the privilege of having a car?  To let them consider if they appreciate being driven around at least enough to let their mom drive in peace?

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