Is Ambition Healthy?

Ambition -
1a : an ardent desire for rank, fame, or power b : desire to achieve a particular end
2 : the object of ambition <her ambition is to start her own business>
3 : a desire for activity or exertion <felt sick and had no ambition>
(Merriam-Webster Dictionary)

Ambition wakes you up in the morning.  It motivates you to keep going when things get rough.  But is ambition always a good thing?

That’s kind of like asking, “Is a knife a good thing?”  The answer is the same:  It all depends on how you use it.

You can use a knife to slice onions, open boxes, or clean your fingernails (eww!) - all good uses for a knife.  But if you use a knife to hurt someone (not in self-defense), then … say it with me …”that would be bad.”

In truth, a knife isn’t good or bad.  A knife is neutral.  (Knives don’t kill people, people kill people.) The way it is used makes all the difference.

Same with ambition.  Ambition is neutral.  Its effect on your life will let you know if you’re using ambition in a healthy or an unhealthy way.

Here’s how you can tell if your ambition is healthy or not.

Healthy Ambition:

• There’s a beautiful vision, in your head, of something you’d like to create - something you’d like to add to the world, or to your life experience.
• You joyfully accept, or outright enjoy, the steps required to bring that vision to life.
• Positive, loving, expansive energy goes into actualizing your vision.  You feel as good and whole during the journey toward your goal, as you imagine you will once you achieve it.
• You still make time to cater to your basic needs, and the needs of those you are responsible for, as you work toward the goal.

Unhealthy Ambition:

• You feel lack.  You believe that things are not good now, but they will be, if only you can achieve the goal you’ve set (that title, status, income level, significant other).
• You feel stressed on the journey toward the goal.  Grumbling about the amount of work and sacrifice required.  Only comforted by the mental image of yourself at the end of the journey.
• You’re pushing yourself.  Using lots of “shoulds” and “have-to’s” to crack the whip and make yourself go one more step…one more step.
• You neglect your basic needs and the needs of those you are responsible for.  You promise you’ll make it up once the goal is achieved.

Ambition that stresses you out
- that leads you to skip over the beauty of TODAY as you chase the glory of TOMORROW -
is Unhealthy Ambition.

Unhealthy ambition grows from the belief that what exists now is bad, and I cannot be happy until I have something else.  As in, Being single is bad, I cannot be happy until I get married. Or, These extra 50 lbs are bad, I cannot be happy until I weigh less. Or, Not having enough money for all my bills is bad, I cannot be happy until I make more money.

When we feel this way, we punish ourselves for being what we are not.  (Or we go to the other extreme and reward ourselves to ease the pain of lack.)

Worse, we completely miss out on the only thing we really have:  NOW.  This moment.  We miss the entire journey of our lives, just trying to make it to the finish line.

Worse yet, we often don’t give ourselves and our loved ones the daily nurturing we need to MAKE it to the finish line.

We think, I’ll do it later.  Once I’ve achieved my goal, I’ll take better care of myself, spend more time with my kids, do fun activities with my special someone…Right now, I’ve just gotta push to the finish line.

But, if you don’t nurture yourself and your relationships now, you may not make it to the finish line.

If you run yourself ragged trying to reach a goal - don’t stop to hydrate, stretch, or eat right - you may well burn out before “the end” is in sight.

If you put your kids and loved ones on hold - starve them of the attention they need, take out your stress and frustration on them - you might find they’re not there to celebrate your final victory.

*   *   *

To ensure that you’re running on Healthy Ambition, remember that you are good NOW.  You are whole NOW.  Life is wonderful NOW.

Sure, it’s great to create more.  It’s great to HAVE more - more money, more degrees, more accomplishments.

But there is nothing more that you need to BE in order to be happy NOW.  There is nothing more that this moment requires in order to be perfect.

Enjoy the journey.  Be present in every step toward the goal.  Play with your kids.  Take care of your health.  Connect deeply and frequently with the people you love.

Don’t fast forward past your life.  Life is short enough…and you won’t get to rewind.

*   *   *

On a scale of 1-10 (1=Unhealthy, unbalanced, stressful ambition; 10=Healthy, balanced, “in the flow” ambition; 5=no ambition), what level of ambition do you tend to exercise?

How do you stay mindful to enjoy the journey while striving toward an important goal?

What makes it harder to stay mindful?  What makes it easier?

Please comment.

Tweet This Post 

Where Has Venus Been?

My friends and fans…

I’m sorry.  I kinda fell off the radar somewhere around June.  Haven’t blogged but 2 or 3 times for the second half of the year.

What the heck happened?
In a nutshell:  I had to get back to my “Regularly Scheduled Life.”

You know those people who spend all their energy helping other people’s kids, but their own kids are in and out of juvie? 
Or the beloved talk show hosts who help their viewers learn to lose weight, while they, themselves, pack on the pounds?

I didn’t want to be that person…  But that is so much easier said than done.

What makes it so hard?  In a word:  BALANCE.  Or rather, IMBALANCE.

There are 3 major parts of my life:  My Family, My Physical Health, and My Business.  Each of them requires time and attention.

However, it’s been hard for me to focus on more than 1 or 2 at a time.

My Sleeping Dragon
Until 2007, I devoted my attention to my family and my physical health.  I’d diligently homeschooled my kids all their lives.  I’d been a 100% Raw Food Vegan, off-and-on for about 8 years.

Then I decided to start my own business.  And that reawakened the sleeping dragon in me that I’d put to sleep in 1994, when my daughter was born:  Ambition.

The more I fed that monster, the more I starved everything else in my life.

My Kids
In 2007, I started building my business.  I continued to homeschool my kids…but I was nowhere near as engaged as I was before.  My mind was always on the business.  My days were constantly interrupted with client calls.  I wasn’t fully present.

This summer, I looked up and realized that my kids were languishing.  They were irritable, moody, and insecure.

Why wouldn’t they be?  Even though they were taking classes and interacting with other people, their PRIMARY, FOUNDATIONAL relationship with me had withered down to nothing.

Read here to learn how I reconnected with the kids.

My Health
The other thing that took a hit while I focused on business-building, was my health.

I spent the last 6 months of 2008 in an all-out push to finish my book.  We’re talking 13-hour days of non-stop writing.

Everything else in my life was put on hold.

I felt I had no time (or desire) to make healthy salads or snacks…so instead I started nuking potatoes and eating chips.

I gained 15 lbs, suffered repeated illnesses…lost the health and beauty I had maintained for so many years, in just 6 months!

Read here to learn how I got it back.

My New Path
So far, I have spent the past 7 months zooming in on my top priorities:  My Family and My Health.  Now I have discovered healthy ways to re-introduce My Business into the mix without letting the Ambition Dragon take over and wreak havoc.

Over the next few posts, I’ll be sharing my journey back to BALANCE.

Join the conversation.

Where do you fall out of balance?  How do you give attention to the many parts of your life?  What parts get neglected the most?  What tricks have you found for maintaining balance AND fulfilling your ambitions?

Next Up: Listening to Your Body…or How Venus Got Her Groove Back.  (That would be the groove separating her abs…or, with any luck, the groove defining her thigh muscles.)

Tweet This Post