Spotlight: Five Love Languages

This month’s bookclub features Gary Chapman’s The Five Love Languages. Have you read it?  Come discuss it.
(If you haven’t read the book, but have visited his site, you’ll still enjoy the bookclub.  Welcome.)

Here’s the brief review I posted on Amazon:

I use “The Five Love Languages” in my Family Healing work with couples and parents. It is a simple, powerful tool for infusing any relationship with tenderness, empathy, and respect.

Gary Chapman describes the 5 Love Languages as:

1. Words of Affirmation - including Encouragement and Kindness.
2. Quality Time - giving your undivided attention via Quality Conversation and Quality Activities
3. Gifts - anything from trinkets to gifts of yourself.
4. Acts of Service - showing love by being helpful.
5. Physical Touch - including sex, casual touch, massage.

Dr. Chapman advises that we learn to speak our partner’s (or kid’s) primary love language, so that their “love tank” is filled.

In the video, you’ll hear the 3 things I like and the 1 thing I don’t like about this book.

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Do You Speak Your Partner’s Love Language?

Just a quick post for anyone who hasn’t already heard about the Five Love Languages, by Gary Chapman…

The Five Love Languages is an invaluable tool for family healing.

Understanding how your partner (or even your kid) best receives love, can help you ensure that they really feel the enormous love you have for them.

For example, understanding that my husband and son’s primary love language is Physical Touch, I know that putting my hands on them - massaging their backs or hands - really helps them feel loved.  Whereas, my daughter prefers not to be touched quite as much as she likes to hear Words of Affirmation.  So, I’m speaking her love language when I tell her how much I admire and respect who she is as a person.

These days, when anyone in the family seems a bit out of sorts, my first thought is, “Are they getting spoken to in their primary love language lately?”  And I start there first.

If my son or husband seems irritable, I make time to massage him…then before I know it, he’s relaxing and talking about what’s bothering him.

If my daughter is particularly moody, I make sure to verbally acknowledge something positive and genuine about her…and she immediately seems more open and connected.

What’s your Love Language?  What are the Love Languages of your partner and children?  Check out this site to find out:  www.fivelovelanguages.com (will open in a new window).

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